June09

The Not Scariest Comic Book Villan Ever

I am a comic book fan. I've read them for as long as I can remember – and that would be back to when I was 3 and 4 in Belmont, Mississippi. I don't collect any more, that ended in high school. But I do still read them when I get the chance. [In fact, small plug for a good friend – go buy SCREAMLAND, because it's a wonderful story and hella funny.]

So, yes, I love comics. But I was never really a big DC Comics fan. I've always been a Marvel guy, as their characters are a bit more believable (and mutations are real!).

My preference of Marvel over DC doesn't mean I love all heroes/villains, though. In fact, there are quite a few dumb characters in both universes:

• Captain America – A genetically-altered super soldier that wears red, white and blue. He can punch hard, run fast and carries a shield. A SHIELD? (Still trying to get excited for the movie, not sure it'll work.)
• Wonder Woman – A princess of the Amazonians. She can fly, she's strong and she has a "truth lasso" (if she lassos you, you HAVE to tell the truth). At one point she also flew an invisible jet. Huh? And to top it off, she, too, wore red, white and blue (with some gold). Needless to say, I was stunned that the re-invented TV show was cancelled even before it ever aired.
• Green Lantern – A space cop that has a ring that gives him unlimited power. Well, sorry, the power is ONLY limited by his imagination and nothing else. My bad, his power is limited by his imagination and THE COLOR YELLOW. Uhhhh. What?

I don't really want to go on, but there are many dumb characters out there.

But the one I encountered last night at Target (in the toy section, not in real life) might just take the cake. I can't speak for you, but this dude straight up scares the bejeezus out of me. The evil just pours out from head to toe. And if his white scarf, Robin Hood hat, black tights and synched-at-the-waist man blouse doesn't scare you enough, his lethal accuracy with a boomerang just might.

Ladies and gentleman, the most feared villain ever is Captain Boomerang.

Check out these powers!

Captain Boomerang carries a number of boomerangs in his satchel. He is an expert at throwing the weapons and as well as ordinary Boomerangs he has a number with special properties, including bladed, explosive, incendiary, and electrified boomerangs.

He had also been shown to be able to hurl his body like a boomerang, giving him the ability to cover more ground than just jumping, but not enough to qualify as flight.

Upon his resurrection, Digger finds he has the ability to create boomerangs out of energy that explode on contact. The source of this new power remains unknown.

Yes. That just said satchel.

Yes. He can hurl his body like a boomerang.

Yes. He can create exploding boomerangs and NO ONE knows how he does it.

Yes. The writers gave up on trying to give him a cool name.

That's Captain Boomerang. Good luck sleeping ever again.

+ original post date: June 9, 2011 07:04 AM
+ categories: WTF