August08

BMN: X-Files: I Want to Believe

“We see bad movies so that we can truly appreciate the good ones.”
– Someone who (obviously) thinks we’re doing ourselves a service.

Rumors. 10 years of rumors. Six years of nothing on TV. No monsters. No aliens. No CSM (that's Cigarette Smoking Man). No Skinner. No Doggett. No Reyes. And definitely no Mulder or Scully. And in one fell swoop, when the new movie was announced last year, nerds everywhere got boners. Yes, I was one of said bonerized nerds. I LOVED "The X-Files." Loved it all. And when I heard there was going to be a new movie, I about crapped my pants with black oil.

As soon as reports were flowing in on RottenTomatoes.com, I made sure to keep watch of it. At first, "X-Files: I Want to Believe" was rocking a 70-something Fresh rating. But once it was opened up to more and more critics, things started heading south. I was honestly neither surprised, nor let down, when it was sporting a 33%, thus making it a sure-hit for BMN. Sure I wanted it to be a sweet return to form, but that's asking a lot.

So why make another movie now? Who the hell knows. It's not like David Duchovny or Gillian Anderson needed the work (though I DO think Mitch Pileggi did). The film had NOTHING to do with the mythology that was established in the tv series, so that wasn't the reason. It was said that (series creator) Chris Carter was looking for the right story to make -- but I question that since he hasn't done shit since The X-Files went off the air.

No, this movie was made (for money) and to satisfy geeks everywhere. The problem? It wasn't that great so the theaters were way front-loaded on opening weekend. And honestly, all us X-Files fanboys have moved on to Lost, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica and other shows that actually try to tell a story in some reasonable span of time (of course, the jury is still out on Lost). What once was ruled by King Mulder and Queen Scully, has been replaced and forgotten.

The crazy thing is that the chemistry between Duchovny and Anderson was still there. So was her constant "there's no way you're right, Mulder" vepid look. Only this time, her lips were freshly filled with botox.

I suppose that Carter didn't think that those two could carry the movie alone, or maybe he wanted to put more butts in seats, so he added Amanda Peet and XfileRapper Xzibit. Oh, and a John Cleese lookalike (you may remember him as the Hessemen's replacement on "Head of the Class," or maybe you don't -- your mom does).

In any case, the film wasn't that bad. But it wasn't an X-Files film. Where were the Lone Gunmen (LOVED that show, btw)? Where were the aliens? Where was numerous scenes in the boring deserts of North America? They were all absent. But you know what WAS in the movie? More mention of Fox's dead clone sister. Who cares!?!

Honestly, the film had an interesting story but didn't need an X-Files twist. Way to go Carter, you got your damn paycheck. Now let it die. Oh, and tell us if Mulder and Scully were just having sex or actually had a relationship. Friends with benefits isn't always a bad thing, I suppose. It allows you to make films that I'll get excited to see. Damn I'm lame.

+ original post date: August 8, 2008 08:00 AM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night