August19

BMN: Double Feature!?!

The title of this post is no lie, and, my oh my, what a night it was. In what could be the final Bad Movie Night of the summer, we decided that it was time to test our endurance and plan a double feature. We were all gung-ho, but also apprehensive at the same time. Could three-plus hours of bad movies be tolerated? Of course they could and we were just the men to do it. So we headed off to the theaters to become stupider.

BMN: Daddy Day Camp

What usually happens when a not-so-critically acclaimed movie nearly makes $100 in the box office and can't get their stars to come back for the sequel? It goes straight-to-video, that's what. Not in the case of “Daddy Day Camp.” This Fred Savage (yes, that Fred Savage) directed film is one that couldn't afford, coerce, or kidnap Eddie Murphy and make him come back for the sequel. Why this film didn't go straight-to-video is beyond me. Maybe they wanted to make a good movie (oops) and earn tons of money at the box office – $3.4M opening weekend.

The sadder point is that Cuba Gooding Jr. has fallen. Hard. Let's take a look at the number of quality films he's been in since his award winning role in “Jerry Maguire:”

• Instinct – 29% on RT
• Chill Factor – 7% on RT
• Rat Race – 43% on RT
• Snow Dogs – 23% on RT
• Boat Trip – 7% on RT
• The Fighting Temptations – 42% on RT
• Radio – 34% on RT
• Shadowboxer – 20% on RT
• Dirty – 19% on RT
• What Love Is – 17% on RT

Now THAT is an impressive one-sheet for credentials. If that doesn't sell you on going to see Daddy Day Camp, then maybe the promising up-and-coming harbinger of bad movies, Tamala Jones, could sway you. No? How about the unheard ofs Paul Rae, Josh McLerran and Spencir Bridges? Still not impressed? Well how about this note that I found while surfing the internet? It's from the Academy to Cuba:

Dear Mr. Jr.,

Upon screening your latest film, Daddy Day Camp, we must ask you to cease and desist making bad films, especially those with Disney. We turned our heads when Snow Dogs came out. We did a double-take when Home on the Range premiered. And now, Jr., it really must stop. You're an Oscar winner. And don't try to bring up the whole Bill Murray argument. Yes, he's a good actor and for some reason starred in Garfield... two times. But he hasn't won an Oscar and he really likes cats. He can do what he wants.

We highly recommend you either stop making films altogether and come back in 10 years, or hire a better agent. If you fail to comply with our request, we'll be forced to show a clip of you in Boat Trip during the In Memoriam montage. No one wants that.

Sincerely,
The Academy

BMN: Underdog

One of the nice things about growing up is the realization of your peers being in control of what comes out of Hollywood. It's fun to see a lot of the famous comic book franchises and 80s pop culture icons becoming live-action major motion pictures. Sometimes with good results, sometimes bad. And sometimes you come across movies that should've never been made at all. Why does Hollywood insist on destroying good things?

No one is really sure, but let's assume money has a lot to do with it. So what's the latest get-rich-quick-and-destroy-another-bit-of-someone's-childhood-memories movies? Have much fear, because Jason Lee lent his voice to star as “Underdog.” What is Lee thinking!?! To make matters worse, guess who's starring in the holiday blockbuster “Alvin and the Chipmunks?” Yup. You guessed it. Jason Lee.

I don't even know what to say about this movie, except it was very sad to see just how bad Hollywood could screw something like that up.

It's not even worth words, really. I just wish that those in power of Hollywood would actually try and take time to make these nostalgic movies into something good. I'm sure that the writers have every intention of bringing these memories to life and to be as true to the story as possible. But when you have Underdog talking about eating cat crap, then it's obvious that Hollywood doesn't give a shit about retaining any type of integrity.

The nice thing is that, for the first time ever (in my attendance), we had the theater to ourselves. Nice.

And with that, I believe that we have concluded our summer of bad movies. We, or I, will see one or two bad movies over the holidays, but you'll have to wait for more official BMNs until next summer. Enjoy the movies and please only pay for the ones that are really good.

+ original post date: August 19, 2007 01:21 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night