“We see bad movies so that we can truly appreciate the good ones.”
You'll have to forgive me on the timeliness of these reviews. This summer has proven quite difficult to meet up for our normal Bad Movie Night routine, but we're trying very hard to make it happen. This week I bring you two reviews...
Review #1 – Delta Farce
Again, forgive me, as it's been nearly a month since I've seen this movie. But what I remember of “Delta Farce,” I would much rather soon forget. Ranking at a lowly 3% at Rotten Tomatoes, this is definitely near the bottom of the barrel when it comes choosing a bad movie.
Let's forget the fact that it was a starring vehicle for Larry the Cable Guy – the only comedian in the past two decades to NOT get his own 30-minute sitcom. Let's look past that it also starred DJ Qualls – the skinniest man alive. Let's hide the two “24” alums that must have loved crappy scripts so much that they HAD to be in this movie. Let's not even think about the cheap attempts this movie made to be the second coming of the ¡Three Amigos!, because it wasn't even close.
I wish the list would stop there. Sadly, there's even more to ignore than all of that. Instead, let's concentrate on what is the movie's main theme – every country needs America's help, especially if they're not a democratic country. Oh, and that Mexico is a third world country.
Shockingly, the movie wasn't funny. At all. Except to the guy in front of us who nearly fell over he was laughing so hard. Strange enough, he left not even 20 minutes into the flick. Too hilarious, I suppose.
Review #2 – Hostel: Part II
I saw the first “Hostel” a few years ago during my annual snowboard trip. I had heard all the hype about the movie and was excited to see what Quentin Tarantino was Executive Producing. Frankly, I wasn't that impressed. Aside from the gore and teen sex, there wasn't much to the movie, except more gore and more teen sex. Interestingly enough, it scored a 59% on RT. Respectable.
When I heard that part two was coming out this year, I figured it was going to suck. Most sequels, especially horror sequels, rarely ever live up to their predecessor(s). When I learned that Hostel: Part II was indeed the movie for Bad Movie Night, I wasn't surprised. What DID surprise me, however, was the fact that it was sitting around 53% on RT. What!?!
I don't think I'm going to ruin anything by saying that this movie was nearly identical to the first one. And it reinforced what the first one did – Slovakia's tourism is going to suffer if they keep killing the tourists that come there. That's their business model? Lure people there and kill them? I guess it's easy when you've teamed up with eBay and are having online auctions for rich people to come and kill college kids.
But what kind of sick people would do that? I suppose those people who are so rich that the only exciting thing in their life is to kill someone. I guess being rich really is hard.
It's also a place for men who lived on Wisteria Lane to come and wreak havoc on youngsters. But that doesn't surprise me. If I lived on a block with tons of insane, sex-crazed, sex-starved, clumsy, murdering, conniving, back-stabbing, teenage-affair-having, adopting, marrying, divorcing, marrying, divorcing, middle-aged chicks, I think I'd be driven to kill people, too.
Aside from it being the highest rated “bad movie” we've ever seen, and it's identicalness to the first film, there was a nice twist near the end. I'd say it wasn't a bad movie, but I wouldn't have paid to see it in the theaters.
+ original post date: June 21, 2007 09:34 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night
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