August08

Please Return Here Where Ever

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated with shopping carts. As a child I would ride inside of them while my mother shopped at the grocery store. When I was big enough (translated: even today), I would run with them as fast as I could and jump on the back – usually popping a wheelie. There was even a time when me and some old high school buddies would hold onto shopping carts while hanging out of our cars... but we won’t get into that.

Shopping carts fascinate me.

I love utilizing the various storage places a cart has to offer (storage spaces vary depending on which store you’re at). Some have a spot to place a gallon of milk next to your feet. Some have cup holders, just in case you’d like to crack open a brew. Some have a bread rack, so your loaves don’t get smushed.

Some carts have a good place to put your shopping list, most don’t. Some carts have a damn calculator built in, so you can tally things as you go. Some carts even have seat belts for the children you place in them – so just in case the cart tips over, the kid will stay in place... with the cart on top of them.

I hate getting the carts with the squeaky wheel, or the wheel that won’t turn. I hate getting the cart that I can’t just push and let go of because it’ll instantly swerve into the shelves. I hate rolling through the dry bean aisle and ramming into the cart when I’ve rolled over a tiny bean that the cart wheels can’t seem to climb or crush.

But there’s one thing, above all, that angers me about shopping carts – the lazy bastards driving them:

Was this person just getting back at the store for taking so many parking spaces away? Couldn’t be, I count close to nine empty spots. Could it be that whoever had this cart simply couldn’t find a cart corral to dump their cart at? Not possible, there are nine cart corrals in this photo – one that is about 10 feet away. Or maybe this person didn’t want anyone parking in this spot... or perhaps they hoped some wind might come along and propel said cart into someone’s vehicle.

Or they’re just lazy.

This is the worst thing about shopping carts. Hands down.

+ original post date: August 8, 2006 11:27 AM
+ categories: All About Seth, WTF