March20

Addicted to Walnut

I apologize for my recent absence, but I’ve been pretty busy lately. Why so busy, you ask? Well, because I just finished up MOVING FOR THE SEVENTH TIME DURING MY SIX YEARS IN KANSAS CITY! Whoa, sorry for yelling.

Yes, it’s true, I’ve moved once again. This time I didn’t move away from my place because it was driving me crazy. No, far from it. This time I moved because the building I was living in decided to go condo, thus practically giving me the boot since I don’t have enough money to buy one. Nice, eh?

I loved my loft and about 95% of the building (won’t miss the slow-ass elevator and slow-ass garage door). Ah well. Time to move on.

And move I did, with the help of (hey) Craig, Bruno, Aaron, Bev and Scoot. I put these peeps through hell on Sunday. First off, it took us nearly three hours to get the truck loaded thanks to aforementioned slow-ass elevator. But then, at my new place (which is on Walnut, again, this time in the Crossroads), you don’t have to worry about waiting for the elevator – because there isn’t one. Ugh. More bad news... I live on the third floor. Sorry ya’ll.

Surprisingly, the unloading at the new place and at storage took an entire hour less. Go figure.

As to keep tradition from the last move, we locked up and went to Grinder’s to eat. One item we ordered was the hot wings. If you’re not a frequenter of Grinder’s, there are three degrees of hotness you can get:

1. Wimpy – Just as stated
2. Molten – Good flavor, about like anywhere else
3. Absolutely Insane Death Wings – Really, these non-refundable wings will F you up

Scoot, after having one of the Molten wings, started talking about how he thought he might have to order himself a half-order of Death Wings to take home. I called him an idiot because of his claim that he “liked things hot.” Making him put his money where his mouth is, I went up and got a little cup of Death Wing sauce for him to try. He grabbed another wing, practically dunked the entire thing in the cup, and started lift it towards his mouth. I sprang into action and literally held his arm from completing the move. Beggingly and pleadingly, I tried to reason with Scoot to try the sauce first. So he took a small bite. A few seconds later he said it burned, and sure enough, one minute after taking a bite, the hiccups came. He was sweating, his face turned red and he couldn’t drink enough to calm the heat.

All of this, of course, AFTER we told him the story of another friend experiencing the exact same thing.

As if it wasn’t bad enough for Scoot during the incident... I received this email from him later that night:

Subject Line: Some sage advice, from one who’s been there.

If you dip a finger into the Death Wing sauce from Grinders, and then four hand washings and two hours later you have to pee, whatever you do, use the other hand. Because that residue is STILL THERE two hours and four handwashings later. (I learned a new definition of pain and suffering!)

-Scoot-

’Nuff said. I’m all moved in now. Let the posting resume.

+ original post date: March 20, 2006 11:24 AM
+ categories: Dwellings, Family/Friends, Funny, Ha Ha, KC