January29

What Else Is Going On?

I was thinking the other day about those random weird facts that people spout out all the time, you know, like there’s a baby born every second... or... there’s a car accident every eight seconds. Blah blah. Whatever. I mean, on one hand it’s cool to think that someone burped right now... or now... ooooooor... now. But what about the things that no one really talks about?

If you think about it, there are so many people on this Earth and so many things that those people can do, the possibilities of what’s going on are endless. That said, here’s what’s happening right now, at this very moment, somewhere in the world:

• An old lady, who can’t see over her steering wheel, ran over her beagle named “Dodger”
• A single guy just received a response email from someone on a dating web site, he’ll be taking his mother out on a blind date this Tuesday
• A cowboy couldn’t get his hands out of his pants to break his fall and rolled down a prairie hill (based on a true story)
• A band nerd just figured out how to play “NBC’s Nightly News” theme on their trumpet... backwards
• Someone farted in a space where they didn’t anticipate someone entering
• Someone is smelling a fart they didn’t anticipate smelling in the space they just walked into
• A super model blew her nose and snot flew out the top of the tissue because she didn’t clasp it around her schnoz tightly enough
• Some drunk dude tried to stick a paddle in their mouth on a canoe trip and lost the $17,000 bet
• A scientist is seriously reconsidering why he chose to study bacteria that lives in feces
• Someone is regretting making out in the back of “Big Momma’s House 2” because it was really a good movie
• In a major mix-up, a clown got hit in the face with an Acid Pie and everyone in the crowd laughed as his face melted under the whipped cream
• A total of two people entered the “Do You Look Like Gordon from Sesame Street?” contest
• Someone is pissed they missed the latest episode of “Ghost Whisperer” on CBS and laments they’re the only one on Earth that enjoys the show
• A gal ran three miles (interesting, eh?)
• I just wasted five of your precious minutes, sorry

+ original post date: January 29, 2006 07:02 PM
+ categories: All About Seth, Funny, Ha Ha, General