March14

I'm Twenty-Bored

Here it is, just for you day-long-action-television lovers, this week's play-by-play of 24 absurdness (some of the following might be considered spoilers – that is if you consider poorly written crap, spoilers):

1. The head of security, (yes, the mysteriously evil one who set off the emp to save his ... boss? ... job? company's electricity bill?) who was interrogating Paul (the only person who knew where the printed out documents were) hits him a couple of times, then tells the other guards "come get me when he says something." Ummmm, where is he going? To make sure the lights are still off in the rest of the eight-block radius? And would an emp really wipe out the ENTIRE database of the nation's third-largest defense contractor? If so, I bet there are thousands of criminals out there just salivating over the fact that they could clear their name from the FBI's Most Wanted database with an emp.
   
   Criminals of America... THIS IS YOUR CHANCE!!!



2. "Could the EMP have hurt Jack or Paul?" "No, but that doesn't mean they're safe... wait, unless either one of them had something like a pace-maker. Yeah, they'd definitely be screwed then. Man, that would hurt."



3. Welcome back Michelle. Man, you take action quickly. First off you're caught up to speed on what happened over the past few hours. Then you impress us with your knowing Paul's last name (somehow). Then you tell us that there's some new information coming in regarding Habib Marwan from Division – we just saw you talking to NO ONE on your way over to Tony, so did the voices in your head tell you that? And speaking of crazy, did you just tell Tony if he didn't like his assigned job then he could "resign?" Michelle, HE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB THERE ANYMORE!
   
   Feel free to resign Tony, but know that if you decide to leave now, it wouldn't be reflected on your record, you won't be docked vacation, sick or personal leave, your paycheck will still be $0 and you won't have to make up any comp time. Have a good one!



4. "Marwan, your face is all over the news... except that last clip with the lispy lady talking about the power outages and gun shots. Now THAT was good reporting, did you see it?" Good thing the people he passed outside of the restaurant didn't notice him, or seem disturbed that an emp bomb had just detonated in LA... not to mention the whole meltdown ordeal earlier in the day. What am I thinking!?! This is just like any other day, let's go celebrate!
   
   Side note: Does anyone think that when Marwan's picture was being shown "all over the news," they showed a picture of the bad guy from "The Mummy" and said "this man is a terrorist?" And if so, do you think that people instantly thought that all mummies were terrorists?



5. When that emp bomb went off, people sure didn't waste any time... why they started bonfires and began looting. And what did they steal, you might ask... why snowboards of course. My guess is that these people loot all the time and have everything they want, so why not grab something really worth stealing.
   
   Question: Where was the guy with the shotgun when the snowboard thieves were rampaging the store?



6. "I can't force you to leave your own property... but if I felt like it, I could take your car, guns and lives, all without batting an eyelash," says Jack to the Hispanic guy and his tan American brother with a crustache and goatee (the guys who have been blamed all of their lives for the terrorist attacks).



7. Let's see, that's three people who have left CTU by either being fired or because of personal reasons. Good thing that Tony the drunkard is around making his non-salary. Odd that Michelle had read all the reports from the day and knew Sarah's detainment was a mistake, but didn't know that Tony had helped Jack earlier in the day escape a gun fight, track and stop the man who was at the terrorist "trial," find and detain Behrooz and his mother Dina... did she think that Tony had just swung by and was checking in on the place been reinstated for the hell of it?



8. CTU has some very impressive satellite software. It has the ability to register gunfire. Cool eh? Oh, but you'll have to spend another million dollars to get the version that registers REGULAR FIRE, AS IN NOT FROM A GUN.



9. I really don't want to mention the head of security that was shot in the back... but, even though he was mistakenly left for dead and had one of his guns removed, he somehow (with his head turned the other way) knew where his pistol was, grabbed it, leaned up and shot at Jack. Now, I've never been shot in the back, but I'd imagine that arching my back would hurt very bad... but I'm also not a super evil bad guy, either. They have super powers.

Did I miss anything???

+ original post date: March 14, 2005 09:59 PM
+ categories: Why 24 Sucks